Hallo allemaal! Het is een tijdje geleden dat we iets op ons blog hebben gepost, maar geen zorgen, vanaf nu gaat daar eindelijk verandering in komen! Bren en ik zijn allebei ontzettend druk geweest de afgelopen tijd en dat zal niet snel gaan veranderen. De webshop begint steeds uitgebreider en professioneler te worden en The Green Dream Shop wordt steeds meer echt ons bedrijf, onze droom waar keihard aan gewerkt wordt. Afgelopen weekend hebben we een flinke To-Do lijst gemaakt en er zijn nog enorm veel dingen waar we de komende tijd mee aan de slag moeten, zodat alles steeds officiëler wordt. Toen ik met de lijst bezig was besefte ik dat December ook om de hoek staat en dat betekent voor mij altijd een periode waarin ik reflecteer op wat dit jaar ons gebracht heeft, hoe het me is vergaan met mijn persoonlijke jaardoelen, maar ik kijk ook vooruit naar wat ik volgend jaar wil bereiken. Traditiegetrouw gebruik ik de eerste helft van de maand om terug te blikken en de laatste helft om vooruit te kijken.
Richting de kortste dag van het jaar
Het duurt nu niet lang meer tot de winterzonnewende, de kortste dag van het jaar. Dit is een periode die we van oudsher veel binnen doorbrengen en we zonderen ons meer af van andere mensen. Hier in Nederland is het vaak ook een druilerige periode, met veel regen en guur, waterkoud weer. Dat maakt het ook een perfecte tijd om het in huis gezellig te maken, lekker bij elkaar te kruipen onder een dekentje om te lezen, liefst met nog een kat op schoot. Meestal neem ik dan ook wat meer tijd om nog wat boeken uit te lezen, die nog op de altijd groeiende stapel te lezen boeken ligt. Het is ook bij uitstek de tijd om eens goed te reflecteren op wat het jaar jou gebracht heeft. De komende weken ben ik daar zelf ook mee bezig en daar ga ik ook uitgebreid over bloggen! Ik kijk terug naar mijn jaardoelen en de ups & downs van het jaar.
We zijn nooit te oud om nieuwe dingen te leren en ook al ging dit jaar niet geheel zoals gepland (meer daarover later), heb ik ontzettend veel dingen geleerd, juist omdat niet alles ging zoals ik had verwacht. Vaak loopt het leven anders dan we wensen, of plannen, maar het is ons vermogen om ons aan te passen en veranderingen te accepteren (of niet) wat uiteindelijk zorgt wat voor karakter je ontwikkelt. Mijn studie van het Stoïcisme heeft me zeker geholpen beter om te gaan met de onverwachte veranderingen dit jaar en het heeft me door een moeilijke periode gesleept bij grote verliezen die ik dit jaar heb moeten verwerken. De grootste daarvan was dit jaar het verlies van onze poes Bobbie. Ik denk niet dat ik daar op zo’n manier mee om had kunnen gaan zoals ik dat nu heb weten te doen, als ik geen moderne Stoïcijnse leefstijl had gehad.
En na de kortste dag
Na het terugkijken is het hoog tijd om vooruit te kijken. Zodra we de winterzonnewende achter de rug hebben, ga ik beginnen met het opschrijven van mijn jaardoelen voor het volgende jaar. Elk jaar schrijf ik tien doelen op die ik in het nieuwe jaar graag op persoonlijk vlak zou willen bereiken. Ik doe dit al jaren en het helpt me om meer focus te hebben op wat belangrijk is voor mij, als persoon. Volgend jaar gaat een enorm spannende worden, omdat Bren en ik The Green Dream dan naar een nog hoger niveau willen tillen en onze krachten gaan bundelen om onze droom steeds verder te verwezenlijken en er een groot succes van te maken.
Dat betekent dat ik mijn schrijfvaardigheid hard nodig ga hebben komend jaar, want ons blog heeft goede content nodig die inspeelt op alle producten die wij aanbieden. Dit betekent voor mij ook dat ik mezelf moet gaan verdiepen in traditionele, groene hekserij, Paganisme, edelstenen en zo nog tal van onderwerpen. Hoewel ik mijzelf zie als aanhanger van de wetenschap en full-time scepticus, verschuilt er zich een heleboel interessante geschiedenis achter deze onderwerpen en hoe meer ik erover lees, of leer van Bren, hoe meer ik het vanuit mijn eigen perspectief weet te benaderen en dat kan soms hele interessante observaties en conclusies opleveren, die ik graag met jullie ga delen!
2023 wordt spannend!
Als je het nog niet hebt gemerkt ben ik erg opgewonden over wat 2023 ons gaat brengen. 2022 was een jaar waar ik erg gemengde gevoelens over heb, wat ongetwijfeld nog aangehaald gaat worden in aankomende blogs, waarin ik terugblik op het afgelopen jaar. Overall kan ik wel zeggen dat het een goed jaar is geweest, met een hoop goede veranderingen en flinke stappen die we gemaakt hebben met The Green Dream Shop en op persoonlijk vlak ook. Helaas zijn er ook diverse veranderingen geweest die ik betreur. Wat eruit springt is het verlies van onze poes Bobbie, mijn kleine meisje. Zonder haar is het in huis een stuk stiller geworden. Dan is er natuurlijk ook nog de recessie en de energiecrisis waar iedereen door wordt geraakt en waar we allemaal mee moeten om zien te gaan. Al zie ik daar ook wel weer wat positieve ontwikkelingen, omdat we ons collectief bewust worden dat zuiniger leven ook soms leuk kan zijn, of dat de transitie naar duurzame energie sneller zal moeten gaan. Maar goed, ik dwaal weer eens af!
Ik kijk echt halsreikend uit naar het nieuwe jaar, om meerdere redenen. De belangrijkste mag niet gemist worden; het feit dat Bren en ik onze relatie naar een volgend niveau gaan tillen. Daarmee doel ik niet eens perse op het feit dat we verloofd zijn en onze handvasting er ook aan gaat komen. Ik bedoel ook onze relatie, waarbij we het beste in elkaar naar boven halen en elkaars groei bevorderen. Er is echt niks beters dan zo’n relatie en ik zou willen dat iedereen dat geweldige gevoel die dat geeft zou kunnen ervaren.
When you came into my life seven years ago, you were frightened and, to be frank, a bit of a scaredy-cat. I can’t say that I really blame you, because we had never met before the day I came to pick you up from your old home. The weird thing was that you instantly stepped into the cat carrier that I had brought, as if to say that you were ready to move out of your current place and head off onto a new adventure. I think you weren’t that happy there, to be honest. The first hours inside my apartment you didn’t dare leave the carrier and I tried to call you to come out. After some time and a lot of purrsuasion you finally took your first steps. I backed up a little and you ran right back to the start. This continued for a bit, but every time we came a little bit further, until you were at the doorway to the living room.
You were curious, but it was all a bit too much and you decided to play it safe and stay in the other room, where it felt safer. I patiently continued calling you and we made some progress. Later, I went to sleep and hoped that tomorrow would be a better day. When I walked into the living room, I noticed all these little paw prints on the couch! So, you had explored on your own during the night, how brave! It wasn’t until a few weeks later that you ended up owning the entire place and it seemed as if you had always lived with me. When I came home from work, you were there. When I came home from social gatherings and parties, you were there. When I was happy you were there and when I was at my loneliest, you were there for me too. Always, no strings attached.
Then, a girl called Bren came along and the moment you two met, you accepted her. She seemed like a very nice cat person and before you knew it, all of a sudden you had two sisters and two brothers! It certainly must have been a big change in your life, going from just us two to such a big, furry family. But you accepted it and found your own place among this new setup. Storm always wanted to play with you, but you were clearly not interested. Medusa was a beautiful lady, but you two never got along that well. Blix became your best friend and eventually even your hubby! Finally, Mysty the leader of the pride, you always held in great regard and I think she taught you a fair deal of wisdom when she passed on.
A couple of years passed and then came a big move! All of a sudden you found yourself in a new apartment in Hilversum, but still with the same crew! The place was quite a bit smaller, but the view was so much better and since mom was so busy with her new business you could always find some way to help her and you ended up becoming her familiar. You weren’t just my shadow anymore, but you followed Bren everywhere she went. I think you learned a great deal from her when it came to witchcraft, crocheting and other handcrafts. But of course, you and Blixem continued your sunbathing rituals there as well, because relaxation is so important! Humans could probably learn a thing or two from cats when it comes to relaxing. And you never stopped being your crazy self, always making us laugh with your shenanigans! Or trying to steal our food from us, haha!
Time passed by and before we all knew it, almost a year had passed. But by June we started noticing you had several bumps close to your nipples and eventually, we had decided to let you undergo surgery. They removed the tumours then, but after about a week we got some really bad news from the surgeon. It was very likely that the cancer had already spread and the test results couldn’t have been any worse. At most it would be a matter of weeks, months, or maybe a year, but that was being positive.
Then we sadly had to move again and it was a very hectic time. We were gone to our new place a lot and the old apartment became emptier and emptier until it was time for you and the other kitties to move once again. You were recovering nicely and once you guys made it here it seemed as if you guys really liked this new apartment better. It even seemed as if you were healthier than ever and for a month, we were a happy family in our new apartment, like we had been before, of course!
But a few days ago, you started to isolate yourself and mommy and me noticed. You just weren’t the same anymore and your breathing became erratic and heavy. On Saturday night you even seemed to have some sort of asthmatic attack, but mommy managed to stabilize you. Sunday we called the vet, asking for help and we sadly couldn’t take you there until today, early in the morning. We decided to make the best of the rest of Sunday and even treated you to your favourite meal, salmon. You only had a few bites, but we’re sure you appreciated the gesture.
This morning, it was clear that you had little fight left in you. We took you to the vet and I’ll never forget the sound you made. It wasn’t anywhere close to your cute little mews, but a heart wrenching cry for help. When you came into my life, I helped you through your first door and into a new life. Today, we helped you through your last door and I hope you’ll find peace and an endless supply of salmon there. They say no one’s ever truly gone, but most certainly never forgotten. Farewell, little girl, Bobbie, we love you. Always.
Hartelijk dank aan Uitgeverij Hamley Books voor het beschikbaar stellen van het recensie-exemplaar in ruil voor mijn eerlijke mening.
Flaptekst: Berry woont met haar tweelingbroer en opa op het eiland Jersey. Berry en haar broer Ozan schrijven een bekend blog over bovennatuurlijke verschijnselen. Als ze op een dag vreemde lichten boven een graancirkel waarnemen en hun opa door een ongeluk in het ziekenhuis belandt, komt hun leven in een stroomversnelling terecht. Hun familie blijkt al eeuwenlang een belangrijk geheim te bewaren… en de tijd is aangebroken het te onthullen.
Samen met de mysterieuze Roth gaat de tweeling op weg. De tocht voert hen langs Latijnse inscripties, Tempeliers, kloosters en verborgen cryptes.
Naarmate de tocht vordert en vijanden hen achtervolgen, voelt Berry de druk steeds verder toenemen. Want dit keer zijn ze niet alleen op zoek naar spannende verhalen of mysterieuze schatten. Dit keer gaat het om een strijd tussen licht en duisternis, om de toekomst van de mensheid zelf.
De cover van dit boek wekte gelijk mijn nieuwsgierigheid, de kleuren zijn werkelijk erg mooi en het lettertype is echt mijn ding, de wit gouden veren lieten me gelijk afvragen wat die met het verhaal te doen zouden hebben en gaven me een beetje de vibe van de Fallen serie waar ik echt verzot op was jaren geleden…dit was een boek dat ik gewoon echt wou lezen dus.
Het verhaal is op een hele fijne manier geschreven, wat zoals altijd is met de schrijfstijl van Jen Minkman. Ik hou van haar manier van schrijven, het is vloeiend, beeldend en neemt je als lezer al snel mee de wereld van het boek in. De personages zijn ieder op zich goed neergezet en ik vond het onwijs goed gedaan ook. Er had van mij wel iets meer actie in gemogen qua de verhaallijn, maar het was ook weer niet zo dat dat een extreem missend iets was tijdens het lezen, het was meer iets dat ik persoonlijk er meer in had verwacht.
Ik vond het echt een leuk verhaal om te lezen en kon me goed inleven in de karakters en wat zij meemaakten en ik begon naarmate ik verder kwam in het verhaal ook te begrijpen waar ik de Fallen serie vibes nou door kreeg. Ik vond het ook erg leuk om te lezen hoeveel moeite Jen in het boek heeft gestopt met de historie te verweven met fictie. En ja ik ben inderdaad ontzettend nieuwsgierig geworden naar de plaatsen waar ze zijn geweest. Sowieso heb ik altijd al wel een interesse gehad naar de Tempeliers en ik heb ook helemaal zin door dit boek gekregen om het boek dat ik daarover heb binnenkort als we hier in een wat rustiger vaarwater zitten erbij te pakken en toch echt eens te gaan lezen, want ja dit verhaal maakt je er gewoon nieuwsgierig naar en al helemaal als je interesse daar toch al wat bij lag.
Ik kan het boek dan ook zeker aanraden om te gaan lezen, Jen kan ontzettend goed schrijven en haar verhalen zullen je even het hier en nu doen vergeten. Wat soms gewoon zo ontzettend fijn kan zijn.
Hello everyone and welcome to a new series of blogs that I’d like to call The Write Stuff. It’s been way too long since I’ve written anything about writing and I thought it was high time now that I’m working on a new scifi series set in the same universe as my published trilogy The Shaedon Resurgence! So, what is all this about then? Well, writing of course with a focus on my methods and what works best for me. Which has always been my preferred method of writing blogs. I know different things work for different people and that’s why I think it’s important to add this little caveat at the start of this blog, so people won’t tell me my methods are rubbish (which they probably are, but somehow I manage). In this first blog I want to focus on what I always do when I start a story and perhaps this might sound counterintuitive to you, but to me it makes perfect sense. I always begin with an end!
Why the end?
Well, in order for me to tell a good story, I want to know where I’m headed towards. I often hear there’s a theory about two types of writers: Plotters and Pantsers. The difference between the two is that Plotters like to plot out their entire story, before beginning their work. Pantsers on the other hand are people who just sit down (presumably with their pants on) and just start writing and see where their imagination takes them. For me, that method doesn’t work, although I don’t consider myself a pure plotter either, because I never plot out the entire story, but rather take a few breaks in between, look back at the road I’ve travelled and then continue onwards, towards the ending that I already had in mind.
So, for me it starts with an end. In order to tell a good story I just want to know my destination first and as the saying goes, it’s not about the destination, it’s about the journey and that’s all the bits between the very first sentence and the ending. For my trilogy I always had the big ending in mind and given that the books have been out for ages now, I think it’s safe to say that this article is not spoilerfree! If you haven’t read my novels and you still want to, I’d advise to stop reading. If you don’t care, or already know the ending, by all means continue (still at your own risk).
Thinking of the end
Don’t you just love a good story? Well, I most certainly do and what can really make or break a story? The end, right? The ending can really ruin a story if it’s bad. Take Mass Effect 3 for instance, pre-patch. Man, that ending was bad. Or rather, endings, since you could choose between three and that was it. There were no consequences for all your choices that you had taken over the course of the entire trilogy. It was bad. This is one of the reasons why I want to think of the ending first, because if the ending is good enough to my liking, I can start working towards it and the best thing is that you can write pretty much anything before the ending and even add a little (read a lot) of plot twists in between to throw the readers off guard.
For my trilogy I had an “ultimate” ending, which was the ending for the final book The Xoron Redemption. At the same time I couldn’t just stop the other two books, so I had decided on a proper ending for them too. The first one would partly resolve the story arc with the discovery of the return of the Shaedon and end up with Netherea being freed, at least for now. The second one would end with Räz destroying an entire planet, so he could redeem himself in the last book. I also had in mind that two of the main characters, Räz and Grummus would find each other in the first book, be torn apart in the second and rejoin forces in the final book. I always saw them as two sides of the same coin. Two guys who had vastly different philosophies of life, but ultimately needed each other, exactly because of how their views differed.
Of course, coming up with a good ending isn’t really that easy. It involves a lot of thinking. Writing down ideas, thinking about the setting of your story. Is it a scifi, or a fantasy story, or is it set in this time, the future, history? Those are things you probably already considered when you knew you were going to write a story. You probably also have a rough idea of what kind of story you want to tell. In my case it’s easy, it’s just another boring ol’ quest type of story. Stories that have been done to death, but then again, what hasn’t been? It’s how you tell your story that makes all the difference and that’s what your focus should be on. And if you agreed with my theory that an end can ruin a story, then you better come up with a good ending first.
Yeah, great, but how do I come up with a good ending then?
If you have the luxury of knowing someone who you can use as a sounding board, please make use of them! But first, make sure they’re going to be absolutely 100% honest with you. If your story idea sucks, then they should be the first one to tell you, and not jump on the band wagon telling you everything is great, because bad shit and mediocrity comes from sounding boards who are actually Yes-people. Pitch your idea for an end to them and wait for their initial reaction. It really doesn’t matter how the rest of the story goes in this stadium of your novel writing. Just give them some basic info about your story and tell them how it’s going to end. Yes, they will be spoiled for your story, but that’s what sounding boards are for.
For me, personally, I have to do a lot of thinking about how I want a story to end. So, yes, it takes time. It’s not a matter of seconds, it can take weeks, months even before I’m satisfied with the ending for my story. Sometimes the ending needs a lot of reshaping and the final ending is nowhere near what I originally had in mind. This was the case for my second novel The Zar’aranos Deception. You generally have a lot of creative freedom when you’re writing the middle part of a trilogy, but you’ll still need an ending to set up the story for the final part. The story arcs’ endings for a couple of characters in it ended up being totally different from what I originally intended.
What’s most important is that the ending is something you’d love to see in a story, but haven’t seen before. It can be surprising, shocking, sombre, or any other words that starts with an s, obviously. But, as I said, make it an ending that feels worthwhile to you. It’s your story, make it your own!
Okay, so you have the end and then what?
This is where the fun begins, because now you have to think about where your story starts! And that’s something I’ll focus on in the next instalment of The Write Stuff. I hope you liked this little bit of insight into my writing style. It might be completely different from what you know, or what’s considered a “best practice”, but this is what I do and what feels right for me. I love telling a good story, I also love writing non-fiction, although I haven’t taken the time to write a non-fiction book yet. One day I will and it’s going to be awesome. I even have a title for it, so it has got to be written some day! But for now my focus is on my Kevar novels. I really hope to reveal more about them as time progresses. I will translate the manuscript to Dutch myself, so I know nothing will be lost in translation. So it’s sort of going to be a double whammy, them being my first new scifi novels in some time and also translating my own work. But I’m really psyched about them and now that I’ve finished this article, I can’t wait to continue reporting my characters’ adventures in the Perussan Empire and its neighbouring country Helianthica!
Hartelijk dank aan Uitgeverij Dutch Venture Publishing voor het beschikbaar stellen van het recensie-exemplaar in ruil voor mijn eerlijke mening.
Flaptekst: Ijshockeyer Auke weet niet wat hem overkomt als hij na afloop van een wedstrijd in Trondheim samen met zijn Noorse rivaal Sindre door mysterieuze krijgers duizend jaar terug in de tijd wordt gebracht. Auke en Sindre blijken te zijn ontvoerd om het leger van Vikinghoofdman Helgason te versterken. Die leidt veelbelovende rekruten op tot úlfhednar, legendarische wolvenkrijgers, om de heidense manier van leven te bewaren in een veranderende wereld.
Maar Heimars zus Heidrún, meesteres van de taboemagie Seidr, heeft een andere bestemming voor Auke: een die zijn ondergang betekend, als hij niet oppast.
Allereerst die cover van het boek, want omg mensen, kijk dan hoe onwijs mooi. Dit was ook de eerste reden waarom ik dit boek zo graag wou lezen, zo verliefd op de cover gewoon, helemaal mijn soort stijl. Dat maakte me zo nieuwsgierig naar het verhaal en toen ik de flaptekst las was ik helemaal om, dit boek moest ik gewoon lezen! Dus ben ik mezelf heerlijk gaan innestelen op de bank met een warme kop thee en dit boek. Heeft het mij daarna ook gebracht wat ik ervan verwachte?
Zeker weten! Wat een tof verhaal is dit zeg! Het verhaal zat eerst wat rommelig in elkaar leek het voor mij, maar dat lag denk ik meer aan mijzelf dan aan de schrijver, want al snel zat ik volledig in het boek en wou ik het niet meer wegleggen. Vanaf het begin had ik gelijk al een zwak voor een van de hoofdpersonages, Auke, want wat is hij mysterieus en wat leek hij me een ontzettende lieverd ook, ondanks zijn toch soms ook wel wat bravoure. Maar dat hoort natuurlijk ook wel bij die leeftijd weer. Een ieder die mij een beetje kent weet dat ik gek ben op geschiedenis, mythes en hekserij. Dat laatste is natuurlijk ook echt mijn manier van leven en in dit boek gaat het dan ook nog eens over de hekserij waar ik zo graag meer over wil leren (en ook aan het doen ben door boeken te lezen erover etc.) namelijk Seidr, de Noorse hekserij van lang, lang geleden. Er komen runen in het boek voor, wijze vrouwen die deze verboden magie beoefenen en Vikingen…Hoeveel wil je nog meer? Ja, okay een goed verhaal, maar dat zit met dit boek wel goed. Ook vond ik het onwijs mooi om de groei van Auke mee te maken in het boek, want dat is zo gaaf gewoon.
De rode draad in dit verhaal is toch ook echt wel dat een van de hoofdpersonages een trans persoon is, dat vind ik zo ontzettend goed geschreven. Dat gevecht met zichzelf, de acceptatie of die er wel is of niet, maar ook dat intens trieste gevoel wat ik soms kreeg omdat hij het zichzelf niet waard leek te vinden om van gehouden te worden. Dat is een van de meest verschrikkelijke gevoelens die je kan hebben als mens, dus mijn hart brak tijdens het lezen ervan. Toch groeit ook dat allemaal met de personages en het verhaal mee in dit boek en dat is echt zo gaaf om te lezen. Het is een boek boordevol actie, avontuur, magie, vriendschap, vertrouwen, verraad, maar ook zeker is er liefde in het boek terug te vinden. En dat alles samen maakt het zo’n vet verhaal gewoon! Ik denk dat ik dit boek zeker nog eens zal gaan lezen. En het krijgt ook zeker een mooie plek in mijn kast bij mijn fictieve boeken over hekserij. Want dat plekje verdient dit boek echt wel. Ik heb werkelijk genoten van dit verhaal, het zit echt zo goed in elkaar en ik hoop dan ook echt dat er meer van dit soort verhalen (en als het kan ook in de tijd waar het in afspeelt) op de boekenmarkt zullen komen. Want het is best alweer een tijd geleden dat ik kon zeggen dat ik absoluut van een Young Adult boek heb kunnen genieten met lezen. Dus hou jij van een ijzersterk, avontuurlijk, spannend, goed en meelevend verhaal vol magie en meer, dan is dit het boek dat jij absoluut in huis moet hebben. En ik wens je dan ook onwijs veel leesplezier alvast!
May is nearly done and I just had a lovely long weekend, full of relaxation and quality time with friends. I had Thursday and Friday to myself, which ended up being two relaxing days spent playing videogames, watching some series and a movie. Saturday was all about quality time with friends and yesterday just taking it easy with Bren. All in all, some much needed time to recharge my battery. As you may have noticed I did write a bit of content last week and this week, I aim to bring some more blogs for your reading pleasure!
On Writing
Last week I didn’t get much writing in, except for some blogs, but this week I’m going to redouble my efforts. I’ve plotted three more chapters ahead for my novel and I plan to share some of my plotting knowledge this week, using examples from my trilogy, to avoid spoiling my new story. I hope to finish one new chapter this week and keep on plotting forward.
On Reading
Seeing as my credits with Audible have reached zero and I put my account on hold for a couple of months, I can’t listen to audiobooks at the moment and I really miss that. But my subscription should restart soon and then I’ll make full use of it again.
I’m nearly finished with my second read of Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and I do intend to write a bunch of blogs about it, including a review, but also a few key lessons I draw from this ancient Roman Emperor. It’s truly astonishing how relevant most of what was written centuries ago is still relevant to our struggles as Human beings in this modern day. Of course, a lot has changed, but Human nature, not so much. And it’s exactly the reason why it’s such a timeless classic.
On Gaming
I spent hours playing Hyrule Warriors Definitive Editions last week and am on 60% completion of the Master Quest map now. After this map, I’m going to put the game back in the freezer for a moment, because I think I’ve had my fill for now. One day I hope to 100% this game, but it takes a lot of hours to do that and when a game starts to feel like work, that’s when you should call it quits, at least for the moment. Plus there’s plenty of other games to play!
I’m also well under way with my Super Metroid run and hope to finish the game soon, so I can write a retro review for it. It definitely is a great game and I’m really sad I never got to play it as a kid. I’m not even sure if it was sold here, or I might just have never known how awesome it really was back in the day.
Upcoming blogs
So, as I said, there’s plenty for me to write about, but finally I’m going to get around to something about a thing I do: writing. Besides that, plenty of upcoming reviews, and stoicism related blogs after I finish Meditations.
Hartelijk dank aan Uitgeverij Hamley Books voor het beschikbaar stellen van het recensie-exemplaar in ruil voor mijn eerlijke mening.
Flaptekst: Hamley hoort op een dag Viola en haar ouders praten over een uitstap naar het pretpark. Ook de honden Kasper en Kamiel mogen mee. Hamley reist stiekem met haar baasjes en haar hondenvrienden mee. In het pretpark geniet ze met volle teugen van haar nieuwe avontuur, tot ze plots haar baasjes kwijtraakt. Hoe geraakt ze nu nog thuis?
En daar was dan alweer het derde boek over het avontuurlijke en schattige zwarte katje Hamley. Een heerlijke jeugdserie, die eigenlijk ieder kind gewoon moet lezen als je dat nog niet gedaan hebt. Ook dit boekje zit weer boordevol kattig avontuur en wat was het weer genieten om met Hamley mee op stap te mogen. De schrijfstijl van Sandra J. Paul heeft mij jaren geleden al voor zich weten te winnen, want wat kan deze schrijver ontzettend goed schrijven en niet alleen dat, ze is ook echt een manusje van alles, want ze schrijft voor ieder wat wils. Zoals dus inderdaad deze serie over dit geweldige katje. Ik ben verliefd op het beestje, eerlijk waar. Want wat is ze heerlijk eigenwijs en avontuurlijk, precies zoals je van een kitten verwacht. In dit verhaal maakt ze het stiekem wel heel erg bont door zomaar tegen iedereens waarschuwing in achter haar baasjes en hondenvrienden aan naar het Pretpark te gaan…Want laten we eerlijk wezen, iedereen weet dat dat niet bepaald de meest veilige plek voor een kat is, laat staan een kitten.
Maar Hamley zou haarzelf niet zijn als ze het er waanzinnig naar haar zin zou hebben en oprecht kan genieten, maar dat houdt op een gegeven moment toch op…want na een tijdje raakt ze haar baasjes en haar hondenvriendjes kwijt in het park en weet ze totaal niet hoe nu nog thuis te komen…Zomaar aan de honden die daar lopen de weg vragen blijkt ook al geen succes, het zijn namelijk niet zulke lieve dieren naar katten toe als dat Kamiel en Kasper dat zijn. Gaat het Hamley lukken om zich ook uit deze penarie weten te redden?
March, 2020, it was the start of the Corona Pandemic here in the Netherlands. A week prior to the lockdown measures were in place I was already home with a burn-out. Years of built up stress and always giving in to social pressure from people got me in this position. It was one of the worst ways I ever felt mentally and something I don’t care to repeat any time soon.
Saying “No” and why it matters
People often say that burn-outs are a lifechanging event and this is also very true for me. I’ve learned to say “No” more often, but people don’t always willingly accept my honesty, nor do they seem to fully understand my position. Both are not a problem I can really deal with, because I am not responsible for the opinions of others. But I am always willing to answer their questions about why I choose not to. If after that people still don’t understand, it is probably a lack of empathy, or inability to comprehend why some people can’t always indulge you.
By nature, I’m a people pleaser and this group of people is prone to put the needs of others in front of their own. This is what I used to do for years, until my burn-out. Then things changed and I finally understood how much stress comes from not putting your own needs first. The axiom “To be there for others, you first need to be there for yourself.” comes to mind.
When I used to go to parties, I’d often have a lot of trouble focussing on conversations and choosing which to take part in. There was just too much going on around me for me to focus on. This meant that social gatherings would leave me exhausted, because there were so many impressions. In a way I was thankful for the Corona pandemic, because this meant that pretty much all social gatherings were effectively cancelled and I really started enjoying the calm and lack of social pressure. So much, in fact that I finally understood that at heart, I’m really an introvert and needed to start reevaluating how I used to go about my business. In other words, I needed to say “No” more often, because of how exhausting social gatherings with larger groups of people are. It matters to do this, because otherwise you’ll risk another burn-out, because you overexert yourself. It matters, because the only one who can truly look after your needs is you, because only you know what your needs truly are.
Dealing with the disappointment of others
Saying “No” will inevitably lead to disappointment in people who invite you to a social gathering. This is why it’s so hard to say “No” in the first place, you don’t want to disappoint anyone. Always remember that whenever you don’t want to disappoint someone else, you are disappointing yourself. And then choose which is worse, accordingly.
But how then, do I deal with this disappointment? Well, for one, I always try to appeal to the person’s understanding of my situation. I understand that they want me to be there, because I’m important enough for them to invite me, but I’ve learned that I need to choose my “battles” so to speak. The thing is that you can’t really change the way someone feels if you say “No” and it’s something for them to deal with, after you’ve explained everything and answered all their questions. So keeping an open dialogue is key in dealing with this.
Of course, the disappointment often reflects on yourself as well, because you still have to deal with it, because it might make you feel bad. Still, as I explained above, after everything has been said and done, you can’t really do much else. You are not responsible for the thoughts and opinions of others and as such, it won’t be productive to dwell on this long. What you can do is change your opinion about their disappointment, that really is the only thing you are responsible for at this point. This is the Stoic mindset I try to maintain during these situations. It’s never easy, but certainly gives me peace of mind in the end.
Conclusion
Extroverts might not be as influenced by social gatherings as introverts in terms of how much energy it costs them to go somewhere. In fact, I think they might even gain energy from being outgoing. For me, as an introvert however the opposite is true. When I go to a party, I need at least a day to recover and regain my energy. This means I have to set my limits, for my own sake and choosing for yourself, especially when others don’t is a must if you want to live a happy and fulfilling life on your own terms, and that’s what I’ve been doing these past few years. It is quite liberating, even though not everyone can appreciate it, but that is something for them to deal with. I don’t love them any less, I just live differently from what I used to.
Hello everyone, Jeffrey here! Today I’d like to share some of my experience of living with an actual, green witch with you! As most of you know, Bren is a traditional green witch and we have been living together for over three years now. We hear a lot of questions of people who are curious what my experience is and well, here we are. But before I tell you what it’s actually like, I think a little bit of an introduction is in order.
How I met my witchy girlfriend
Some of you might know that I’m the writer of a scifi trilogy called The Shaedon Resurgence and my books were published by Celtica Publishing. At the time I was contributing to their newsletter and I did quite a few interviews with bloggers. Bren’s name had come up a few times and I decided to send her a chat message on Facebook, but I didn’t really know if she was actually a blogger, or not. One thing led to another and before we knew it, we were chatting a lot, after a strange initial one month silence between us. I’ll save the entire origin story of our relationship for a novel, but this is the basic story. We met through Facebook and ended up falling in love when we finally met each other in August of 2018.
Moving in and moving on
At the end of 2018 I asked Bren if she wanted to move in with me and she eventually said:”Yes.” It was quite early, after we had only been together for three months, but it just felt good, we were both adults and if things wouldn’t work out, we’d both have a relatively easy way out, without much consequence. It turned out that things worked out very well and we’re even engaged to be married now! But I digress, when Bren first moved in, I didn’t really know she was a witch (and she had been since she was 13 years old!). It was not like she was keeping this big secret and would come out of the (broom)closet one day, as more people do, but she was a bit afraid, because I am a huge science nut. I was a bit more adamant about how I am a firm believer in the scientific method back then, but I also admitted that I believed that there’s more to life than what science tells us. We’re basically little more than evolved apes and our monkey brains really can’t grasp everything we see. I’ve always said that I believe there might be more than we can see through our senses and I have an open mind towards everything. At the same time, I’m also a skeptic and I love to question everything. I suppose in hindsight this might have been a bit intimidating to Bren, but as we spent more time together she finally opened up more and more. She slowly started introducing little things in the house and some day, we had a little altar in our living room. I didn’t even realise it was a small altar and just thought Bren was addicted to burning candles.
I think where I differ with most other guys is what I said earlier, I have an open mind and I’m naturally curious about all kinds of things, so I never forbade Bren to do anything she wanted. I was simply curious what she would introduce next. Looking back I think it’s exactly because she was so gradually introducing me to her lifestyle that I wasn’t overwhelmed, or even shocked that she told me she was a witch. Maybe it was one of those classic moments where a child tells their parents that they’re gay and everyone is like: “Yeah, we already knew that.” I’m not really sure when it was exactly that Bren actually used the term Witch to describe herself, but to me she was still just the same person. In fact, I only loved her more for being so open about it, and ultimately it also got me interested.
What got me interested in witchcraft
Bren told me a lot of people are interested in what got me into witchcraft, or in what capacity I’m a witch, or am not. Well, it’s complicated… I don’t necessarily call myself a witch, in fact I like to call myself a Modern Day Stoic. What’s nice about Stoicism (please note the capital S) is that those old dudes in Greece/Rome back in the day were all about living in accordance with nature. Sure, they may have meant Human nature when referring to nature, but Bren, as a Traditional Green Witch is also living in accordance, or harmony with nature. I brought this up recently and I think this is one of the main reasons why we go together so well. Our approach may differ, but ultimately our goals are aligned.
So, I don’t call myself a Witch, who knows, I might some day, but I don’t really want to label myself as a person too much (although I realise I do, by calling myself a Stoic). Bren introduced me to a whole lot of things, starting with all of the Pagan festivals. What I really love about all of these is the mindfulness part of them. Doing things in the moment and putting effort into the rituals can really help guide you through the year and what’s more is that these happen to align with my own practice of making annual goals and how I approach every year. We have celebrated every festival and Bren invited me to participate in them as well, first I was mostly just an observer, but the more we celebrate them, the more I try to be prepared and mindful about them. I intend to start writing about all of them as well, explaining how I experience them from what I hope is a unique perspective to others, who are more ingrained in pagan/witchcraft practices than me.
And what shies me away from it…
The parts I’m not that interested in are rooted in beliefs that are closer to religion (mainly Wicca practices) and superstition, and I’m glad Bren is not a religious person either. I don’t really believe in things such as bad luck, good fortune and curses. This is where my Stoic foundation takes over for me and one of my main principles that it is not the things that happen are good or bad, but our interpretation of them make them good or bad. I see a lot of what comes on my path as an opportunity to learn and grow and while a lot of people might consider some of the things that happened to me were bad, I tend to see the side where I came out on top in the end. A prime example is my burn-out, which was initially hard, but ultimately gave me the opportunity to grow and become more vocal about my own feelings.
Every day a moment to learn
What I love about my relationship with Bren is that every day gives us the opportunity to learn and grow. We are each other’s biggest supporters and each of our unique experiences and philosophies of life give us a different perspective on things. I’m very proud of how much Bren has grown over these three and a half years of our relationship and seeing her grow.
When our relationship started Bren was already a book dragon, but she was mostly into fiction reading. This took a turn over the past year and now we both read a lot more non-fiction than fiction. What I love about this is that whenever Bren learns something new from the books she reads, she shares it with me and vice versa. I think one of our biggest mottos is that you never should stop learning, because this is how you keep evolving and reinventing yourself to become the best possible version of yourself that you can be.
And they lived happily ever after…
Not many guys can say that they’re (going to be) married to a witch and that every day they come back from work the witch is already waiting for them on her chair. I suppose I’m truly living in a fairy tale and I’m loving every moment of it!
Of course, we can imagine that you guys have plenty of questions, so please feel free to ask them and we’ll bundle them up into a sort of Q&A! And answer your questions in an upcoming blog! 🙂
It’s May! That means we’re already one third of the way through this year and I can’t remember the last time I was so positive about life, where I currently am and what’s next for Bren and me. Her shop is starting to get noticed and it’s so awesome to see it slowly becoming the success it deserves to be. My role as her biggest supporter and handling the more technical side of things is right where I want to be right now. And on a personal level, I’ve refound both my motivation and drive to do what I desire most, to write awesome stories and blogs about stuff that I love. So, yeah, it’s a good time for us right now!
On Writing
Last week I mentioned that I was in a bit of a rut with the direction of my writing. Last weekend I spoke with Bren about this and she asked me where my heart was really at, because I simply have too much ideas to write about and I was just wondering whether or not writing a new scifi saga was worth my time, when I feel that there’s so much cool non-fiction stuff I want to write about. But seeing as we’ve only just started our new blog and we really need to flesh that out, I’ll focus on writing non-fiction for The Green Dream Blog and focus on writing these brand new Kevar novels. The thing is that although I know what kind of story I want to tell, I feel that I haven’t really fleshed out most of the ideas and this is something I’ll be solely focussing on in the coming month. I started by writing short biographies for the main characters and I want to draw a map to help myself figure out the movements of the characters and eventually to enhance the reading experience. Since this is a story that focusses on a pre-spacefaring race, with technology slightly ahead of our own, it’ll probably feel a bit more like a fantasy story, but that’s okay, because I’ve always aimed at combining aspects of both genres in the Ley Lines universe.
On Reading
After I finished the wonderful ‘How To Think Like A Roman Emperor’ I really wanted to dive back into Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and had a look in our book case in the bedroom, where I keep all of my ancient philosophy books, but alas, I couldn’t find my copy. I was so happy when Bren handed me a copy a few days later! I really feel that I just need to re-read it and perhaps even carry this copy of the book with me at all times, just so I can pick it up wherever I am and just read a few passages from it.
I’ve also started reading a book that’s been on my TBR pile for a while now called “Fox & I” or “Vos & ik”, since I’m reading the Dutch translation. Another book that came recommended after my previous Stoic listen was The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. So far, it seems to offer bite-sized bits of help if you’re struggling to get off your lazy arse and actually do something. I have to admit that anything after How To Think Like A Roman Emperor bleaks in comparison and I think I’m suffering from withdrawal symptoms and looking to find a new “fix” for my Stoic studies. It doesn’t really help that Ryan Holiday seems to have narrated the book while suffering from a cold, or maybe he has a very nasal voice, but I’m not entirely convinced just yet.
On Gaming
I’m nearly done with the second Adventure Map of Hyrule Warriors and when I am, I’ll park the game for a bit again, having had my fix of mindless slaughter. The game is still a lot of fun and can be challenging, but it also get repetitive after a while.
This week I’m thinking of going on with my playthrough of Axiom Verge. Although the game has had a lot of high praise, I am not down with some of the gameplay elements, mainly the grappling hook mechanics, which have caused me more frustration than I care to admit. Still, I want to finish the game and I hope it won’t be the longest journey from where I am now, but to be fair, the mechanics of a single item has really taken away a lot of gameplay joy for me.
Upcoming blogs
I’ll be writing more Modern Day Stoic content and I’m thinking of doing a new in-depth videogame soundtrack deepdive. And, since I’m working on my new novels, I’m going to be shedding some light on the process as well in an upcoming blog!
